From what we're hearing every time an MLS player opens his mouth, the NASL will be the top professional soccer league in the US starting on March 31.
MLS will be conducting a fire sale on all those shiny new "Soccer Specific Stadiums". Galaxy fans will replace neoCosmos fantasists as the most annoying supporters of a non-existent club awaiting resurrection around 2035. Don Garber will be forced to crawl over to NFL headquarters and ask for gainful employment so that his children won't have to go to public schools and he himself forced to smoke Honduran stogies.
This will all be due to the fact that, as they keep telling us over and over and over, the players are "unified" ("united" has a wrong, not to say laughable, connotation in this context). They've "never been so unified". They're so "unified" that they're close to breaking five or six of the Commandments and won't be able to enter Qatar in 2022.
If you've been following the news – and even if you haven't – the reason is simple:
They insist that either MLS will grant them free agency or they're going on strike.
And the people who own MLS will never give it to them. Not today, not in April when they walk out, not in July or August when the long hot summer of not losing money month after month makes the owners cave like wet cardboard.
Not next fall when the thought of missing the chance to sit through another LA Galaxy Championship celebration is keeping them up at night. Not next winter when the sight of TFC setting fire to yet another huge stack of money chasing just one stinking lousy playoff game for Christ's sake is that too much to ask gives them a buzz no drug can top.
Not even in 2016 when they've collectively saved enough to go out and hire better players.
So since the players are unshakeable in their demand for something that the owners aren't going to give them, I for one welcome our new soccer overlords, the NASL.
Sorry about, you know, all that shit I talked about you.
Now before some of you blow a gasket, yes, that particular take assumes that the Commissioner is more or less telling the truth when he says that MLS is still losing money. I say "more or less" because, frankly, they'd have to be taking cash out back and setting it on fire to actually be dropping anything like the $100 million a year he claims.
Let's just say the truth probably falls somewhere between "Owners losing oceans of money" and "owners prospering mightily off the coolie wages of cruelly exploited players".
EIt
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